Reflections
Life really does have a way of sneaking up on you or flying by. I know those are both cliché and over used but it's true none the less. There has been so many times I have really just wanted to write out the crazy beautiful mess of this life as it happens, not really to share with anyone in particular but to document and be able to look back on later. For example, reading the last few blog posts brought up a lot of emotions, memories, and the realization that I am growing, moving forward, and truly different. I am also aware that there are some aspects that I handled so much differently than others and may have even regressed in. It's these reflections of life that help us to grow and adapt; to really pause and soak in the moment so we can continue to aim higher and step outside of ourselves.
So as I reflect on the many changes over the past year (and few months) since the last blog post I have come to realize that our family has truly grown in our relationship with God and each other. We have pushed ourselves again and opened our home up for family. This has been a good lesson for all three of us about handling differences and adapting in order to benefit everyone. As well as when we must speak up to avoid destruction and how to handle the not so smooth patches of loving others. We have also learned the art of praying and including everyone in a decision (we didn't do this well before). And we have determined grace is a learned behavior but necessary when living for Christ and loving others as he first loved us.
I, personally, have learned that control is an illusion. I still struggle with this daily. The process of letting go of my idea of control, realizing who is in control, and being patient with others when everything seems out of control are eye opening endeavors. There has truthfully been a lot of grieving the idea of control. I'm not trying to be dramatic but my mind, heart, and soul seemed to have really thrived on it. To the point of my own detriment. But then Jesus steps in and wrecks my day, week, and month. Only then I begin to realize that again I don't have any control, and honestly don't want it.
In order to begin to tackle such Control is this false security that I can change the outcomes or even affect the end result of others decisions. The only real control I have is in my reactions and my decision to Love others as Christ has loved me. I have realized that a major character flaw of mine is control. It has affected so many pieces of my personality and how I am perceived. All of these aspects I have been working to change or be more like Christ in boil down to my obsession with Control. So many examples..
My annoyance with others life decisions is really my desire to control their outcomes. Out of love I want what's best for them but I lose sight of that in the desire to change them into something they aren't in order to "help" them be where they want to be or where I can see them being. Instead I should be allowing them space to grow in whatever direction they are lead or desire, loving them with all I have, giving them grace to do so on their own, and realizing that anything else is futile. I need to remind myself, this is God's beautiful child and I have no say or choice in their life. I, instead, choose to be an encouraging, judgement free zone, with love, constantly pointing them back to our Father. Nothing else really matters.
My unhappiness with my job is also a desire to control. I have the blessing of a job, one that I honestly enjoy the work of but have allowed the nuisances of personality differences to distract from. Nothing is perfect, nor should it be. When I stop and think about where I am and where I was just 5 years ago, I am blown away with such opportunity. I have the opportunity to really impact someone's life and help them live a better, more independent life, in the face of adversity. That's a joy that's hard to articulate. Watching someone gain independence in their own care/life and easing the mind of a parent who is concerned for their child to be without them is so rewarding. I also have the joy of increasing functionality for the adult patients as well as empower them to live their best life with the skills and tools provided by our clinic. Then to consider that I have obtained this position in just under 5 years from graduation! No my job is not always easy, the co-workers have bad days too, and I am not always as efficient or knowledgeable as I want to be but it's been a big blessing and growth opportunity and allowed me to be where God can impact me while I impact others.
I could go on and on about the many examples revealed to me today that all boil down to control, but the point is that we all must reflect on life sometimes. Whether it be on a specific situation or a general overview, we all must take the time to see where we have been and where we are. Our church has a motto, "Come as you are, but don't stay that way". This is necessary for personal and spiritual growth. Reflection is a great way to sort of check in on ourselves and see how the growth is going. Are you seeing the areas of change? Are you even addressing the situations you struggle with or in? Sometimes we don't even see the issues clearly until we sit and review some of these situations where we were tested or pushed out of our comfort zone. It's these reflections that show us who we are and also the beauty of our heavenly Father in our lives.
So take some time and reflect on your life, current circumstances, or just yourself. Have things changed? Should they change? What are you doing to improve yourself? A ship in harbor is safe, but that's not what it was made for. Here's to letting go of control and living in the abundance of God's grace and love!
So as I reflect on the many changes over the past year (and few months) since the last blog post I have come to realize that our family has truly grown in our relationship with God and each other. We have pushed ourselves again and opened our home up for family. This has been a good lesson for all three of us about handling differences and adapting in order to benefit everyone. As well as when we must speak up to avoid destruction and how to handle the not so smooth patches of loving others. We have also learned the art of praying and including everyone in a decision (we didn't do this well before). And we have determined grace is a learned behavior but necessary when living for Christ and loving others as he first loved us.
I, personally, have learned that control is an illusion. I still struggle with this daily. The process of letting go of my idea of control, realizing who is in control, and being patient with others when everything seems out of control are eye opening endeavors. There has truthfully been a lot of grieving the idea of control. I'm not trying to be dramatic but my mind, heart, and soul seemed to have really thrived on it. To the point of my own detriment. But then Jesus steps in and wrecks my day, week, and month. Only then I begin to realize that again I don't have any control, and honestly don't want it.
In order to begin to tackle such Control is this false security that I can change the outcomes or even affect the end result of others decisions. The only real control I have is in my reactions and my decision to Love others as Christ has loved me. I have realized that a major character flaw of mine is control. It has affected so many pieces of my personality and how I am perceived. All of these aspects I have been working to change or be more like Christ in boil down to my obsession with Control. So many examples..
My annoyance with others life decisions is really my desire to control their outcomes. Out of love I want what's best for them but I lose sight of that in the desire to change them into something they aren't in order to "help" them be where they want to be or where I can see them being. Instead I should be allowing them space to grow in whatever direction they are lead or desire, loving them with all I have, giving them grace to do so on their own, and realizing that anything else is futile. I need to remind myself, this is God's beautiful child and I have no say or choice in their life. I, instead, choose to be an encouraging, judgement free zone, with love, constantly pointing them back to our Father. Nothing else really matters.
My unhappiness with my job is also a desire to control. I have the blessing of a job, one that I honestly enjoy the work of but have allowed the nuisances of personality differences to distract from. Nothing is perfect, nor should it be. When I stop and think about where I am and where I was just 5 years ago, I am blown away with such opportunity. I have the opportunity to really impact someone's life and help them live a better, more independent life, in the face of adversity. That's a joy that's hard to articulate. Watching someone gain independence in their own care/life and easing the mind of a parent who is concerned for their child to be without them is so rewarding. I also have the joy of increasing functionality for the adult patients as well as empower them to live their best life with the skills and tools provided by our clinic. Then to consider that I have obtained this position in just under 5 years from graduation! No my job is not always easy, the co-workers have bad days too, and I am not always as efficient or knowledgeable as I want to be but it's been a big blessing and growth opportunity and allowed me to be where God can impact me while I impact others.
I could go on and on about the many examples revealed to me today that all boil down to control, but the point is that we all must reflect on life sometimes. Whether it be on a specific situation or a general overview, we all must take the time to see where we have been and where we are. Our church has a motto, "Come as you are, but don't stay that way". This is necessary for personal and spiritual growth. Reflection is a great way to sort of check in on ourselves and see how the growth is going. Are you seeing the areas of change? Are you even addressing the situations you struggle with or in? Sometimes we don't even see the issues clearly until we sit and review some of these situations where we were tested or pushed out of our comfort zone. It's these reflections that show us who we are and also the beauty of our heavenly Father in our lives.
So take some time and reflect on your life, current circumstances, or just yourself. Have things changed? Should they change? What are you doing to improve yourself? A ship in harbor is safe, but that's not what it was made for. Here's to letting go of control and living in the abundance of God's grace and love!
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