Let's Play catch up!

    Where to begin... I have been putting this post off for 16 months or so now. 

  

January 2016   

     We started the year with mom in the hospital and the acceptance of a new job for me. Mom had an episode that put her in the ICU. During this time Matthew and I had a trip planned to a small cottage in Nashville, TN. It was a great weekend away and we hope to build something similar to it one day, but it was hard to leave mom. Shortly after being moved back to a regular floor mom decided she was tired of the dialysis and not being able to eat what she wanted. She was also tired in general and no matter what they did or how hard she tried, she never seemed to feel better. So after much discussion with the doctors and my family, we broached the subject of Hospice with mom. Her body was not going to be able to heal much more than it already had and she would have to fight constantly for the level of health she had.

           She decided she really would rather enjoy her last few days than to keep fighting for not much improvement. It was the hardest thing I've ever done to tell my mother not to worry about us and for her to make the decision that she wanted, that all we wanted was for her to be pain free and happy. That's when she finally looked at me with tear filled eyes and said, "I love you all but I just want to go home". For those of you that knew mom, you know she meant her eternal home. At that point I told her I could never be so selfish as to deny her Jesus or the pain relief of heaven.  Even though I was still struggling with my own faith I knew mom's was solid and could never question it. So I crawled in the hospital bed with her and held her while we cried. 

          The next week was a blur. It was also the longest and shortest week of my life to date. I basically moved into the hospital. My amazing brother, Kyle, would go to work during the day and then spend his evenings with mom and I and have very little sleep before repeating it the next day. He was the biggest support and one of the reasons I made it through that week so well. He even spent mom's last night at the hospital with me. She had a lot of good moments that last week. She ate her favorite foods, told funny stories on us, and was able to say her goodbyes. I will always be grateful for that week, no matter how hard it was. 

February 2016

     This month was a whirl wind. We celebrated mom's life at my house. It was really just our family since we are so far from all of her friends. It was a great couple days just celebrating mom and all she was. We also celebrated Andru's 9th birthday! Then I started my new job in the Pediatric Hematology/Oncology clinic. That same week my great nephew, Cedric, was born! And my nephew A.J. turned 12 (last year of preteen!). 

March- April 2016

    Things began to settle into our new routine without mom. We were able to go through most of her things with all of us together, which made it much easier. Cedric is such a joy and great distraction for all of us as well. Matthew turned 29 and is now complaining of how old he is... lol. We didn't do much traveling and Matthew was still stay at home dad. 

May 2016-May 2017

     Our world went haywire. My great nephew Cedric was admitted to the hospital. Long story short, something happened and none of are sure as to what. Unexpectedly, Matthew and I were asked if we would take temporary custody of Cedric. I was raised with the mind set that family is family, and you do whatever is necessary to help and protect family. In this case an innocent child had us or the foster care system... We saw that as really only one option, us. It is called temporary custody because the state hopes it will be a quick process to return the child home. When a child is placed with family however, the state, being overrun with cases, sees the child as safe and therefore the case is no longer a priority. 

     Needless to say, that is how this played out. Over the next year our family was shaken to its core. And all without my mom's guidance, which my brother and I had still not adapted too. There had never been a time where we stopped talking. We had been through our share of fights and crazy family drama, but when you have to question someone you love and thought you knew, it brings everything into question. Especially when that someone is your child (in my brother's situation). 

     We have never communicated so poorly as we did during the majority of the last year. But we found small ways to start moving forward as a family, even if it was broken. We learned how to mend what we had. Cedric was our saving grace. 

     During the last year we found a home church that welcomed us with open arms. Our church has small groups which do bible study together. We will never be able to thank our first small group family enough. They listened, guided, cried, and rejoiced with us throughout all of this. God has a plan for everything and he can take something that turns our current world on its end and make a beautiful, amazing, and even better world out of it. All of our brokenness had a purpose. Some of it we haven't figured out yet but He is faithful and it will be used later for his glory, He has taught us that much. 

    

Now

    So the ending to our crazy year and almost half is that Cedric will be going home with his dad full-time. It is the best scenario right now for everyone involved, especially Cedric. Our family still has a lot of healing to do, but we know anything is possible with Him on our side. We cannot change a person and all of our hoping and wishing can't do the work for them. So for now we can encourage where needed, remind of the love we have, and pray. 

     In the middle of this chaos Matthew started working for the Madison County Solid Waste department full-time. We have a similar schedule now and are enjoying all the family time that comes with it. Andru turned 10 has advanced to his blue belt in Karate. He will also be entering fifth grade next fall! Where does the time go? And we very recently added to our family! We now have an english bulldog puppy named Madison Abigail! We are in love and she fits in with our family so well. We have already had our share of puppydom, (house training, not wanting to be without her people, etc.) but she is perfect! 

    We are at this moment gearing up for a full memorial day weekend. Tonight we will be enjoying the Glo Run, a nighttime 5K. We did this last year and had such a blast! My best friend is coming into town for the weekend as well as my in-laws. We are blessed beyond measure. Just the beginning to a wonderful summer. I hope you all have a safe and relaxed holiday weekend. Remember the fallen and thank the ones who have served and sacrificed for our great nation. Until next time...

XoXo